Mean Mom

I just read an article called 12 ways to be the meanest mom in the world and I think it's awesome.  Below I posted the 12 ways and my take on them through my own experience and also my (and Sam's) expectations of our kids.

1. Make your kids go to bed at a reasonable time. This one, as you avid readers know, I'm dealing with right now.  Not only is it so important for your kids to get the sleep (because no one likes a grumpy kid), but it's soooooooo nice to get some me time for a couple hours.  Before Little Girl was going to bed around 9, which is really when Sam and I should be going to bed too.  But we would stay up after 9 just to do stuff.  But now that we've gotten her to go to bed between 630-8, we have time when we're not completely exhausted to focus on ourselves and each other.  So really it helps both sides. 

2. Don’t give your kids dessert every day. This one I never really thought about before.  Maybe because I don't really care?  The author had talked about how it shouldn't be every day because it should be a treat.  And I do agree with that, however I do feel that you shouldn't let your kid see that restriction.  If they're anything like me, once you say you can't have something, you immediately want and crave it.  Like right now.  I want cookies.   And sadly we have none :(

3. Make them pay for their own stuff. I agree with this 100%.  My parents had this in place for me growing up.  If I wanted something outside of what was already provided then it was my responsibility to get it myself.  It has really taught me how to be responsible and get a job, how to pay for college (without going into debt), how to save, etc.  I firmly believe that making your kids earn their own money to pay for what they want, they will not only be less greedy in the long run, but also be able to really value what they actually need and have.  They will take pride in their possessions because they don't want them ruined after working so hard to get it.  And I also think they will learn the value of buying used and either dealing with it being used or learning how to make it better.  This is one I feel I have worked on lately.  New isn't necessarily better.  And it's so much more fun to make things from the old!

4. Don’t pull strings. I agree with this ... at times.  The author basically said don't always go up to bat for you kid if they don't like their teacher, their science project partner, or the grade they got on a project, etc. to get them what they want. And I do agree you should let your kid deal with situations they don't like, but only do it AFTER you have figured out why they don't like it.  If there is a legit reason for your kid to not like something I think it's fine to pull some strings to get them out of that situation. But maybe that's just me.

5. Make them do hard things. I will probably be a pro at this because I'm mean :)  And because they will learn so much better if they have to figure out how to do something on their own.  I know I have.

6. Give them a watch and an alarm clock. I never thought about this before to help your kid learn to be on time.  Probably because I hate being late to things already so I've always tried to manage my time (although adding a baby to the equation really threw it off for awhile).  I think though that this wouldn't really be an efficient way to teach your child how to really learn about being ready on time or managing their time.  I think a good dose of reality would work better. Let them personally figure out why it's important to manage their time by having negative consequences if they are late or don't get things done that they could have in the time given.  Because really ... what kid is going to not lose their watch?  I hate wearing watches.

7. Don’t always buy the latest and greatest. Oh this lesson has been planned by Sam and me for forever.  I'm quite excited to teach my child that they don't need new stuff or new junk to be happy.  And if they want the latest and greatest they shall buy it themselves.

8. Let them feel loss. This goes back to making them pay for their stuff for me.  The author says to not buy them a new toy if they broke the old one.  This is a perfect way to teach them how to fix up what is broken or used.

9. Control media. Honestly I'm not sure what some parents are thinking when they allow their children to watch/play certain things.  In my home growing up we didn't even have video games.  Something that I am going to happily continue.  I am going to step up on my soapbox: I HATE video games.  I hate them so much.  I do not feel they are a productive use of time or energy.  They are addicting and don't really do anything to help you grow.  Yes, I understand hobbies/games are fun.  But there are so many more things your child can do that in the long run will help him develop his talents, personality, etc.  This kind of goes for other computer games too.  I admit for awhile I played Candy Crush (usually though when I was nursing Little Girl because it was the easiest thing to do).  But I finally deleted it from my phone because I realized it was wasting my time, making me more frustrated, and it wasn't appropriate for me to play when I had other things to do.  So I get that it can be hard, but do I feel out of sorts not that I've stopped playing it? Nope! I haven't even thought about it.

TV also is a detrimental thing for you kids.  Not because it rots your brain, but really it rots your time.  I don't think it's bad to watch it every day, but all day?  Or just watching whatever is on?  I love watching my favorite shows, but I also love reading, crafting, and painting and I can't develop those things watching TV all the time. I want my kids to develop their talents.  I really wish I had done that growing up more.  I have had so much fun learning to be creative.

Ok soapbox done.  

10. Make them apologize. This one of course just goes back to common courtesy (as does the next one).  If there is one thing I want my child to learn before they are on their own it is to be responsible for their actions and to be courteous to those around them.  Nothing makes me more mad when someone doesn't seem to care about others feelings or says/does something that is selfish and rude.  I don't want to get on my soapbox for this one, but I think everyone could think more about the person next to them instead of themselves.

11. Mind their manners. Again, be respectful and courteous.  It makes you happy

12. Make them work — for free. Chores! Muhahaha! And of course service.  I hope that I can teach my kids to look at those in need and ask what they can do to help.  It is something I myself try to do all the time because I firmly believe that you should be always trying to serve others.  Not only because it's nice, but it's also a way to show love and that you care.  And everyone knows what it feels like to be unloved at some point in their life.