This picture caused me to think a lot about the topic of being skinny today. And so I decided it was worthy enough to share here.
During the week I was hanging out with a good friend and we got on the subject of dieting, food, and gaining weight. I want to keep her name private and hope that she doesn't mind me sharing a little of what we talked about. I can't remember exactly how we got on the subject but we were talking about dieting and gaining weight and she shared with me about how she had struggled with eating disorders in high school and how now that she has been able to overcome this struggle she has a hard time with the topic of losing weight and dieting. This is a girl who I consider to be quite healthy and trim (except right now she's like super duper pregnant). She said that when she was in high school a doctor had told her based on her weight and height she was overweight (and she was about the same as she is now when not pregnant). I was floored! I could not believe it. It was this statement among other things that made her turn to food problems. But the thing is she was not overweight in my eyes, nor probably others. But the thing is your weight should never matter when it comes to being accepted by others.
I have also struggled with the idea that if I was not "skinny enough" I was not going to fit in. I was not going to have people like me. This thought process made me become more shy around people because I felt if they really wanted to look past me and my looks they had to prove it by talking to me first. I would skip meals because that gnawing feeling in my stomach made me feel "skinny". In my head I thought starving myself was the way to go if I wanted to lose weight. Now, I wasn't anorexic. I didn't starve myself every meal or every day. Just every once in a while I skipped meals because I felt guilty for wanting to eat. My friend said that after she had lost some weight people had told her she looked good. She made this awesome comment "Why didn't I look good before I lost the weight? Why are people commenting my looks when I lose weight? Why can't people say you look good for how you are NOW?"
When I was first pregnant I enrolled in WIC. While there for my first weigh in the dietician told me I was gaining too much weight. Based on my weight and height I could only gain 11-20 pounds ... I had already gain 9. HOW on earth was I only supposed to gain 11-20 pounds? Her comments made me doubt that I was being a good enough mom already. Needless to say, I gained 30 pounds which is still considered healthy to gain. But before that I was terrified that I was gaining too much weight and that I was going to give birth to a huge baby. I had convinced myself I was a bad mother by gaining too much weight.
Looking back at this I realize how ridiculous my thoughts were. My body was providing a home and nourishment for a baby. I wasn't eating unhealthy, and there was no way I could stop gaining weight during my pregnancy because THAT was unhealthy.
You women out there that think your worth is tied to a size or number this message is for you. YOU ARE WORTH MORE. This thinking has taken a long time for me to get to but now that I've reached it and see the struggle you all are going through makes me want to just hug you and tell you to STOP thinking that way! Your weight should NEVER be tied to how you feel in regards to self worth. The only thing you should tie your weight to is being healthy. And by being healthy I don't mean dieting, eating raw, never eating sugar, etc. By being healthy I mean that you are trying to eat what you need to stay alive and to feel good. If you just stop and become in tune with your body you will notice how it feels based on what you eat. When you tell your body it shouldn't have something because it's wrong your body will rebel, which will make it worse.
As gross as it is, our body is connected to our emotions. We eat to live, but we also eat to feel. And when we ignore what our body needs, whether it's carbs, veggies, meat, etc. we are NOT living the way we should. I see so many times women post on facebook or their blogs about their diets and my heart sinks. These are beautiful women who are not only physically beautiful, but have a beautiful spirit. They are moms, sisters, daughters. They are kind, thoughtful, and loving. They are creative, happy, and interesting. Yet they have taken their body as something deemed to be starved and beaten into submission so that they can feel good about themselves. If you are doing what you love, and eating what your body needs you can feel good about yourself. I know that. I have been living it. Before I came to this realization that I needed to fuel my body with nutrients and not cut anything out because it was wrong or some new diet fad "worked" I hated my body. I hated clothes and how I looked in them. I hated being in public. I hated pictures. Now I look at myself and I don't see my extra weight, but I see me. Flaws and all but it's me. And that's what is important.
I urge you to look at yourselves and your way of thinking. Are you cutting out foods because the world has deemed them bad? Are you not letting yourself eat something because if you do you'll feel guilty? STOP. RIGHT NOW. Listen to your body NOT what the world says. There are so many new diet fads out there that say do this, do that to lose weight quickly. It's not healthy! It will not make you happy nor will it probably stay off. Seriously, there are so many times I hear girls say they have to eat this certain way to lose weight and I just want to tell them that they don't need to. They are great the way they are.
Do not feel that having a cookie is bad. It's not. The way you are eating overtime is what matters. I started paying more attention to how my body felt when I ate certain things. Like pizza. I love pizza. And you know what I still eat it. But I don't eat it all the time, because I know that I would feel gross, my body would feel gross. But when I want pizza or when I want fruit that's what I eat. Over time you will realize that your body wants the healthy stuff usually, and that also overtime a little bit of ice cream really never did hurt anyone.
So please, stop with the "I want to be skinny" thought. Start with the "I want to be healthy and happy" thought. Because you will be when you realize how awesome you really are.
The end.
