The hardest job

Being a mom is hard.  And I knew that it would be from the beginning it would be, but I think the hardest thing about it is because I feel that there are so many opinions about how to raise your kids that if you do one thing you feel guilty because someone thinks it's wrong.  I read a blog post on the Matt Walsh blog about this yesterday and it's really very true.  There are so many different ways to parent a child that are successful that unless there is actual detrimental harm to a child's growth you really shouldn't judge.

I remember before Little Girl was even a twinkle that I had many thoughts and ideas about how I was going to raise my children.  But now that I have her some of those ideas have changed.  Not because they were wrong but because I have changed and because I now know her.  For instance, I thought I would rock her to sleep every night singing lullabies.  I was going to take her to the park everyday.  I was going to teach her how to clap.  But guess what? I don't do any of those very well.  She doesn't want to sit on my lap and let me rock her.  She prefers Sam to read to her. And I admit I am kind of lazy about that whole park thing ... probably because all she would do is eat the wood chips and that's not my idea of fun (especially when she can just eat Sam's plants at home).  And clapping?  She'd rather crawl and play.  Why waste your time smacking your hands together for no reason at all?

I do still have my core values/ideas that I will raise her with.  I will raise her to be respectful and kind.  I will raise her to sit quietly when appropriate and not to run around during Sacrament.  I will teach her how to clean her room and the rest of the house. Why will I do these things?  Because these will help her develop her character and be less selfish than her mom.  I want her to be someone that knows they are talented and wonderful without being stuck up.  To be not be a doormat for others' gain, but forgiving to those that have used her badly.

Ultimately though I want to raise her by the Spirit.  Since I have been going through this sleep training I have learned a lot about my values in raising Little Girl.  At first I was trying to go by the words of those educated in sleep and other moms' experience.  And it was frustrating! Not that they weren't right or didn't have some truth to what they were saying, but it wasn't feeling right to me or working.  It wasn't until I kept feeling like I should quit one approach and go with something else that things have seemed to improve.  I will still ask for advice from other moms' because I believe that's a great place to start.  Who else knows better than a mom who has gone through something similar?  But I will also take their advice sift through it, pick out what I like, pray and make my own solution through the Spirit.

So if someone tells me that I'm doing things wrong or too late, I need to learn to just smile and say "Thanks for your opinion, but I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing."